sometimes i cant breath
sometimes its all i can do just to open my eyes
and look at what this world has come to
pain that is deeper than you can feel it
a comforting numb that sets you into fear
a hope that will never come to a close
but a death to an idea that never came to be
as we struggle to get our heads above water
it just keeps filling up
and we just keep sinking
sinking
and kicking
in a never ending struggle with ourselves
was it love
was it a game
you dont know
but neither do i
so one of us must be lying
right?
or maybe we are both lying
because this time the words wont ever leave our hearts
trapped behind closed lips
building up
choking us
and as we drown within them
the whole world seems to hold its breath
even though we all know
no ones listening
because there's nothing to hear
a chaos so beautiful
a game so dead
a pain so real
but when you finally become numb
its so much worse
because the nothingness envelopes you
suffocates you
and once again we are drowning
within ourselves
i trusted you
you held my bloodstained hand
told me to close my eyes
and believe
but you never told me what to believe in
and when i opened my eyes you were gone
a dull beat drumming in my head
is this what they mean when they say you march to the beat of your own drum?
a death march
but not so sad that we cant fake smile to pass by the toll booths
they arent listening
just watching
line up
dont speak unill you are spoken to
dont move untill you are told to
but little do they know
that by now
your lips are sealed
and your limbs are numb and dead
your secrets are mine to keep
secrets that swell up and mix with my own
a terrible past
a terrible person
no hope but to jump ship
but once you hit the water
the struggle continues
within yourself